Americans hate the sound of Asian languages?!?

Dear Ah Mei,

When I was growing up, my Taiwanese mother told me to speak Mandarin in a hushed voice as “Americans” hated the sound of Asian languages on their ears.  My Chinese father further asserted that English was the only language he wanted to hear my siblings and me speak.    

I remember speaking to my parents in a mix of Mandarin and English but only speaking to my siblings in English.  I was three and a half when I immigrated to the US, my sister 7 and my brother 5. 

Of course this is just a blip of my childhood but it’s a reminder that growing up as a first generation Chinese/Taiwanese immigrant was complicated. 

Fast Forward

Years later, when I found out I was pregnant, I remember not wanting my son to feel the insecurity I felt around my Asian background.  I wanted him to be unequivocally proud of his heritage.

When my son was a baby, I tried to speak to him with my limited Mandarin vocabulary.  Not surprisingly, he didn’t pick up the language.  

The summer of my son’s 5th grade, I found a Chinese Camp not too far from our home and my son happily started attending. He loved the foods they cooked, the movies they watched and games they played at Chinese Camp.  They also taught the campers to read, write, and speak Mandarin. That summer he asked me to pack him udon noodles for lunch and I remember having to buy a cute little blue thermos to accommodate his request.  

In middle school, we took our son to Austria.  I recall my son prodding me to help a Chinese man asking a store clerk for help in Mandarin.  I obliged and I’ll never forget the look of pride on my son’s face afterwards.  He beamed, “That was so cool, mom” and his words gave me a feeling of awe that my Mandarin was a gift.  

My son is a teenager now and I’m happy to see him so fully comfortable as a second generation Asian American - eating, saying and being around whomever he chooses.  I’m grateful for his love of all things Asian and I can’t help wishing I was more like that too.  Any thoughts? 

Sincerely,

Evolving Mom